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The Final [Girl] Review: The Descent

The new addition to the S&E team, Final Girl continues her pursuit of a truly inspiring, frightening horror film...but as the Final Girl of her own slasher survivals, such films are hard to come by. In this review, she visited The Descent.

**Contains spoilers!**

Final Girl Review: The Descent

The Descent introduces us to six shrill, annoying girls who have a plan to go caving. The group rappels down into a cave system that has never been charted before- but of course they find this out after they get stuck after a cave-in (pun intended). From there, we discover that there are cave-dwelling monsters out for blood- and the gaggle has to find a way out of these tunnels- and fast. I figured the inherent darkness of a cave would lend itself well to the creep-factor as we discover the fate of these six broads...

But no, for how DARK caves usually are, why was there SO MUCH LIGHT?! The characters took turns cracking bright green glow sticks, shooting off fiery red flares (which received the Hollywood Unlimited Bullet Treatment™) and… just experiencing random overhead light? OVERHEAD LIGHT. On the cinematography front, some camera angles were so odd, I lost my 20-20 vision from squinting so hard trying to make out what was happening. But I guess they had to light the set and film the movie somehow. Also, whoever was in charge of sound editing needs to go back to sound editing school. I had to turn my TV up past eleven just to hear what everyone was saying… or screaming- the cave creatures included. And on the subject of the cave creatures (read: blind Uruk-hai), we were spoon-fed plenty of footage of them. We even got to meet Mommy Monster, Daddy Monster, Baby Monster, and a host of their aunts and uncles, probably. WE DIDN’T NEED TO SEE THEM AS MUCH AS WE DID. Once we were shown the creatures full on- their Scariness™ was gone. I JUST WANTED MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO GUESS HOW TERRIFYING THEY COULD BE! They just felt like more characters- and we CERTAINLY didn’t need more characters.

Shoddy sound production, uninspired cinematography, and commonplace monsters aside, I’ll admit that the idea for the main character’s descent was clever. In the beginning of the movie we learn that she’s suffered the loss of her husband and daughter. At the end, we see her descent was not only literal, but metaphorical- for the main character descended into her own grief and madness.

Good movie? Nope. Scary movie? It had its creepy moments and a few jump scares, but I rolled my eyes and gave a heavy sigh at the end of this one.

Until my next fright night…

- Last Girl

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