She Never Died
We don’t often get to sequels and follow-ups are not something we get to see here at Telluride, so when we get one it is pretty much a must-see. The follow-up we got this time was to 2015’s He Never Died with Henry Rollins. She Never Died, directed by Audrey Cummings and written by the original writer Jason Krawczyk, is a new adventure with similar trappings and feel to the original. Although it is unfair to call it a true sequel, it is more of a story set in the same universe.
Our story follows Lacy, an immortal who needs to consume bone marrow, but we're not super-sure why. Lacy is hunting down a few unsavory characters and runs into a cop with the same goals. They start to work together and things get crazy as Lacy starts to interact with the criminal organization she is trying to stop.
The movie itself is very similar to He Never Died in terms of flow, only with a more modern kind of criminal organization. The really fun part is how they were very deliberately setting up the future of this franchise. I am very excited to see where it goes and hope it gets picked up for a show or something so we don’t have to wait so long between the next iteration. If you liked the first one I think you will truly enjoy the second one, and if you didn’t see He Never Died you will probably still enjoy the action.
Horror Rating System
Horror Qualifier: 3/10
Horror Quality: 3/10
Film Quality: 7/10
Scare Package
If you use the word meta to describe any horror movie, it is like crack for me. Scream, Cabin in the Woods and You Might be the Killer are some of the best movies we watch often. It takes a lot of intelligence to write good meta horror and Scare Package took the right approach by having multiple directors collaborate on one great feature length short film. The final cornerstone of which is an interim story, which Scare Package has and it is fucking great.
Scare Package is in fact a set of short meta horror films pulled together by the story of a video rental store owner and his new hire. We start off with a commentary on the harbinger-like characters in horror movies and how even they sometimes wish they had different jobs. We follow that up with the short that played last year with stuff from every woodland horror trope into one glorious package (get it). Afterward, we get a glimpse into the day of a very unique young man and his family.
We also see a very interesting take on a hyper-complex genre, post-modern feminist revenge slasher body horror. There is small short revolving around unfinished business and the fight to not have your life spoiled, if you will. We also get a nice piece on finishing the job when you have taken down a killer. The end of the movie has the video store owner living through his own special brand of horror movie and it is a fantastic way to end it.
I left this movie happy and laughing. It made me want to do a horror movie marathon of all the really fun meta-horror movies and that is part of what makes this movie amazing. The 7 directors of Scare Package did an amazing job with the films and it is in my top three for films this year at Telluride Horror Show.
Horror Rating System
Horror Qualifier: 9/10
Horror Quality: 7/10
Film Quality: 9/10
Extra Ordinary
Humor and horror go together like peanut butter and well whatever you love with peanut butter. So I am always ready to see the funny movie each year. Last year we were graced with DeadTectives and Extra Ordinary was a great follow up to that in terms of humor and horror theme and tropes.
This film starts off by showing us an old set of takes called The Talents. These videos keep coming up throughout the film and they are in a pretty hilarious 90’s style, explaining some of the movies new concepts which was a great way to explain some of the plot elements without the characters having to just explain everything. We find out that the creator of these tapes had a daughter named Rose who was gifted and that is who the bulk of the story follows. We follow Rose as she deals with previous instances of using her powers and the horrific outcomes, while trying to help out Martin Martin and his daughter. The daughter has had a spell put on her to prepare her for a demon sacrifice by Christian Winters, a washed-up musician who is looking to make it big with the devil's help.
The movie has a huge amount of hilarious scenes, amazing one-liners, and hilarious scenarios that would make even the most grizzled patron chuckle because of their absurdity. It is always awesome when we get to see foreign films that are not trying to simply be super arthouse. I highly suggest seeing this movie at some point if you didn’t get to see it this weekend at the festival.
Horror Rating System
Horror Qualifier: 5/10
Horror Quality: 6/10
Film Quality: 8/10
Porno
Sometimes you roll the dice when you choose late night movies at THS. You are looking for something to do and you end up in line wondering about what you are about to see. This was the case with Porno. I had heard earlier in the day that it was a pretty good film and so I decided to add it to my watch list and I was pleasantly surprised by director Keloa Racela’s demon summoning movie.
The movie really gets started when a group of teenage theater employees in a very Christian town stumble upon a secret set of stairs that reveal another theater below they never knew existed. In this theater they find lots of old film canisters and pick one to watch for their movie of the week. But the one they pick turns out to be the recorded ritual that summons a succubus and then shit gets real. As the employees try to survive the onslaught of a sex-driven demon, they also start to find out that everything is not what it seems at the theater. Turns out the secret theater was used to show pornos in the past and that the currently theater owner isn’t as ethical as they all believe.
While Porno is full of religious tropes and clichés, it still delivers a hefty amount of good creepy scenes and scares. The succubus’s demon design is really great and the movie keeps a pretty good pace, mixing horror elements with the teenagers dealing with what it is like to grow up in a very dogmatic community. I will say that I wish the character archetypes were a lot less stereotypical, but in the end we received a pretty great horror comedy.
Horror Rating System
Horror Qualifier: 9/10
Horror Quality: 8/10
Film Quality: 6/10