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Telluride Horror Show, Day 2's Shorts

Today was full of awesome horror from cultist rituals to grind house greatness we saw it all. While my compatriot is going to cover the films themselves I am going to take a stab at covering the multitude of shorts we saw today!

First of was the Horror Ha, Ha shorts block, which was filled with wonders. From PSA’s for hiking in a black bear reserve to robots with strange protocols. Here is the best of the horror comedy shorts.

Handjob Cabin (Official Trailer) – This wonderful little trailer was for a movie that may or may not be real based on the success of this short. It follows a group of kids going to a cabin to escape for a weekend only to find themselves face to face with a horrible spirit, one that gives handjobs. Lots of great sexual jokes ensue and it is a wonderfully effective satire.

Girl #2 - This short film finds a sorority under attack from a deranged slasher. Two of the girls are left in a room barricaded off, but the killer is close to getting in. This is where the hilarity lies. When each girl seems to think they will be killed first due to attractiveness, the girls end up fighting each other to the death only to scare the killer away. Awesome commentary on some aspects of sorority culture and a funny interaction to boot!

Ghost Story Club – This was one of my personal favorites because it was a parody of Are You Afraid of the Dark. We start around the camp fire with a new member of the team, Uncle Wally. Turns out Uncle Wally has a few stories about a haunted interstate, full of ghosts and ghost blood and ghost vehicular man slaughter. This was a perfect parody of one of my favorite shows and it was a world premier!

Overtime – Staying at work late usually isn’t deadly, except when you are a creature of the night. This film had such an amazing twist at the end I do not want to spoil it but suffice it to say that the journey is worth doing whatever you need to see it. Just be careful about what secrets your coworkers are hiding from you.

The next block of short was the Dark Fantasy/Sci-Fi shorts block. These movies varied from end to end, but in all honestly it felt more like a miscellaneous category. However there were a few diamonds in the rough.

Portal to Hell!!! – This short starred Roddy Piper (They Live) as a superintendent of a building with a crazy ritual happening in its basement. This was one of the only films that explicitly included Lovecraftian mythos which made it one of my instant favorites. Plus the cast is pretty fantastic and does a great job of keeping it scary and funny at the same time.

As They Continue to Fall - This short attacked the conventional Dark Fantasy Horror Short approach by efficiently delivering a story with a visually stunning action set piece that wastes none of the viewer's time. Our modern-day warrior against fallen angels feels reminiscent of John Constantine with a sniper rifle. The treatment of the fallen angels puts them in reality and not merely in fantasy. This short was one of the best of the Dark Fantasy block and is an easy recommendation to fans of relevant genres.

The final set of shorts was the ones we usually love the most, Fear Itself. The shorts are the scariest of all the shorts and we always see people leave there shaken.

Pieces – Not only does this short film have an amazing story, it also has some pretty terrifying moments. A daughter cleaning her deceased grandmother’s home finds a puzzle and a book telling her to finish it. That doesn’t seem too ominous, does it? Suffice it to say that the journey to find all the pieces is worth a watch!

Kookie – This film follows a little girl and her love for her favorite snack, cookies (or is it kookies?). Her mom, in an effort to help her daughter’s addiction, gets a freaky new cookie jar. This movie has one of the scariest clowns I have ever seen. So if you like scary movies and hate clowns then definitely check this one out!

Reed – A man on a nightly walk with his dog gets lost in the reeds near his home, only to find his dog and him are not the only things out there this night. This film was a POV film, so unlike a found footage one it was more like a go-pro was the camera. And that is not a comment about the cinematography because it was fantastic and freaky!

The Smiling Man – Lots of clown-type stuff this year, but that is fine with these two dwellers of Hell. This film is about a little girl who finds the Smiling Man in her house and how he tries to make her laugh. Spooky, scary and everything in between, this short was creepy as Hell, and we would know.

Hide: Bloody Mary – This is a very quick short about a teen who decided playing Bloody Mary is a good idea. Only too late does he figure out that it is as real as the skin on his face. Even though this is a shorty, this movie has a very creepy ending which makes it a must see.

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