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Happy New Fear Part 2: Bottom 5 of 2015

Poltergeist - A remake that didn't need to happen, it was doomed from the get-go. Sam Rockwell was a bright spot, at times, but this was otherwise forgettable and ill-conceived. It rushed through homages to the original and introduced new scenes that couldn't hold a candle to the first, partly because the remake was handicapped by its rating whereas the 1982 version could get away with a ridiculous amount more at the PG mark. The clown doll scene was the most effective of this film's many dull moments, but its butchering of the original's other classic bits just made it far more frustrating than enjoyable.

The Lazarus Effect - Not much to say about this film, as it was your basic mainstream horror film. There wasn't anything that stood out about it and it never picked up any originality or memorable scenes along its runtime. If anything, its inclusion on this list is a means to a petition to cease the mainstream horror factory's production immediately.

Howl - This was a surprise addition to this list, even for me as I typed it. It isn't that Howl was necessarily a bad movie, it's just that it was a rather big disappointment for Efrit and I. We had big expectations for the film coming into Telluride Horror Show and it just didn't meet that proverbial bar, especially not in the way that The Hallow did. The practical effects were decent, but the film's premise of werewolf mayhem didn't ever truly materialize and it fell short of preemptive anticipations with its lackadaisical plot. It's too bad.

Monsters: Dark Continent - This wasn't much of a horror movie at all, which led to its inclusion on this list. I don't remember much from this movie, beyond the incredibly fragmented and disjointed storyline mixed in with impressive effects work for the budget. But the effects weren't enough to salvage weak plot structure and acting. After a completely unnecessary beginning lull, I thought the movie was getting ready to take off, but then quickly fell into this poor attempt at psychological military trauma metaphors and I could barely stand to finish it.

The Human Centipede 3 - The absolute winner for worst horror film of the year because it had no right being made. The first was a concept unto itself, but even then wasn't this fantastic piece of filmmaking. Then the sequel happened, and we pushed through it to find its plot and production to be almost a satire of the first, whether purposeful or not. This garbage was hardly viewable. It seems there is a pattern here, and it's leading straight to Hell.

Here's to a year full of more films like Friday's post and less like today's post! Happy New Year!

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