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Cooties

We find ourselves in the same old routine. Sickle and I review films. Sometimes I will choose to go watch movies on my own, sans my sadistic serial-killing compatriot. It is inevitable that the movie I decide to watch is horror, as that is what we truly love here in Hell. But it seems I have fallen into a rut. It seems I cannot escape the fate, in that I continuously watch horror movies about children. This week is no different as I was able to check out Cooties recently.

The film centers around a sub teacher (Elijah Wood) dealing with crazy intelligent zombie children trying to devour him and his teaching buddies. The virus is transmitted via disgusting black cream that somehow made its way into chicken nuggets. Not quite unlike The Stuff, it is incredibly disgusting when they bite into it. To think, just one nugget was all it took to cause the downfall of society.

Again we see a movie where the main problem isn’t so much surviving the zombie apocalypse, but deciding whether or not killing zombie children is morally acceptable. I will say pitting teacher against student, like a backwards version of The Faculty, made it more logical as to why these people would be hesitant. However, I feel that in that you may be able to overcome your teacher’s oath a little bit easier than that. I mean, we all know no one really likes kids at that age (they are pre-teens). I am beginning to find this motif a bit overdone, but there is a shining light!

This movie is incredibly entertaining. From people assembling crazy school based weapons, to hilarious one liners, you won’t get bored watching it. It also does an okay job of creating scary situations using not-so scary characters. They have a very creative air vent scene. On the other hand they have a very horrible kid’s play place scene. But it is not fair as nothing will do a more terrifying kids play place scene than Clown. I would say much for the same reason I enjoyed The Visit I enjoyed Cooties.

This all being said this movie is a comedy with zombies. Not much more here than a solid funny movie with a few pretty gruesome death scenes and jump scares. I think it is worth watching if you enjoy horror comedies like Shaun of the Dead or Evil Dead, but I wouldn’t suggest paying theater prices for it.

Horror Qualifier: 7/10

Horror Quality: 4/10

Film Quality: 6/10

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