Tremors 5 or Scary Movie 6?

[Time has become an enemy of Sickle and Efrit. We have compromised a truce with the unruly dimension, which includes reducing our comics to Mondays and Fridays. We will still be posting on Wednesdays, but without a comic. So feel free to still stop by 3 days a week, and we hope you enjoy the read! Today's post is on the trailer for Tremors 5.]

You will be hard-pressed to find someone who enjoys Tremors more than I. It is my guilty pleasure movie, and I adore it for its humor, great use of practical effects, fun creature design, and cult-like qualities. These cult-like qualities have led to multiple sequels, which have somehow miraculously retained its fan base. The model remains ultimately the same for each film, but the writing, acting, and effects take a hit with every new release. As much as I love the first film and all its awesome monster-movie quirkiness, the sequels have grown increasingly embarassing to the graboid mythos. I would argue the immediate sequel is the only one that holds any real value, and that may simply be a younger, more naive horror fan from within the cavity I call my chest.

So here we are. The graboids have gone from this mysterious worm-beast of unknown origin, to blind screaming ostriches, to flying velociraptors, to prehistoric trilobites. And along the journey we have become less and less interested in the latest metamorphosis and developed a stronger longing for the days when they stayed underground and sucked cars into the plastecine eluvials (...the dirt). I could hardly stand the 3rd installment, and the 4th I admittedly couldn't finish. So when I saw a 5th film in the making, expectations were low. And these low expectations appear to be met from what the trailer shows us.

Let's start with the obvious. The trailer, with only a paltry runtime of less than a minute, manages to display a multitude of ripoffs, tasteless references and parodies. Let's count them off:

1. Jurassic Park velociraptor kitchen scene - Featuring the close-up of the claw stomping into the floor! How could this not be purposeful?

2. Michael Gross' Bruce Campbell impression - This has felt like it's been a slow evolution throughout the sequels.

3. Pitch Black flame in the darkness revealing monsters - It's been done.

4. Die Hard quote - You'll have to watch the trailer again to get this one, but it was clearly purposeful.

So the question has to be asked. Is this Tremors 5, or Scary Movie 6 under the guise of a cult sequel? I'm riding the fence on this one. The tasteless reference jokes force one to lose brain cells at the rate of chugging a bottle of Jack Daniel's. The humor has lost its way as the wave the Bacon-less sequels has slowed to a crawl on the shore. This trailer shows a film with little hope of being anything more than a shallow chuckle as the credits roll. It makes me so sad to see. I think I'll go watch the original to ease my suffering.