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Sometimes we are forced to watch movies that even make us cringe by just looking at the title. All Cheerleaders Die is totally one of those movies. Very much like Jennifer’s Body and what Unfriended seems to want to do. All Cheerleaders Die is a movie about nubile high school …sport motivation enthusiasts and the supernatural. Why we keep making these movies is beyond me. If I wanted to see women feeding off of the blood of the innocent to stay alive and strong I would go visit Miss Bathroy’s Brothel. Despite these movies' generic plots, it's not as hard to watch as you may think.


This isn’t your typical “girls-die-then-are-brought-back-through-black-magic-to-terrorize-their-school” story. We see a slightly different take on the theme, as it is more of a “girls-get-killed-and-then-are-brought-back-with-dark-magic-to-get-revenge-on-the-jocks-that-killed-them” kind of film. It attempts to ever-so-slightly crack the mold by varying the story minutely. This movie is almost purely about the battle between cheerleaders and jocks, as the former learn about their new found strengths, so does the latter. The girls get strong and the boys learn how they use their strength. It is kind of interesting to see the battle of the sexes present in this light. It is almost a modern role reversal, where big strong women are beating up the investigative, inquisitive men while they attempt to unlock their secrets. Not a completely redeeming quality but an interesting attempt nonetheless.

Then we hit a high note toward the end of the movie during the ‘final showdown’, where the main jock has started to rip the stones out of the girls and eat them for himself in some sort of “eat the placenta for the power of the unborn” style power grab. He doesn’t even care what may happen he just goes for it, I admire his reckless abandon.

I am not going to suggest that this movie is an all-around good time, but if you just so happened to click it on Netflix it would not be something you would entirely regret watching. If you enjoy that kind of demonic possession plus high school drama in a non-art house style, then I would say give it a shot. If you would rather stick with the artsy crap, just watch It Follows and then go rethink why you decided you liked art house films to begin with.

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