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Netflix Influx


There can be a fine line between satyrical dark comedies and cinematic abominations, and this line is often drawn by the script and director. Millennium Bug was some kind of mutant baby spawned from the bowels of Hatchet and a sadistic Lifetime Movies director. It was an abysmal combination of terrible writing and atrocious acting that even the commendable old-school miniatures and puppetry attempts couldn't come close to overcoming. And when I say "attempt"...I mean, "Oh, what a great little diorama you have there, we'll just keep that on the kitchen counter until the Play-Doh crumbles apart" attempt.

The film lacked the more apparent satyrical elements of the Hatchet franchise (which in its own case becomes tiresome before the first film has rolled credits). It was, for the most part, theatrical garbage, but surely everyone on set could see that coming. You never know. The cast of Troll 2 hung on till the very end.

But the point is not to simply bash another crew's work (despite my black heart, I like to find the bright side in every film). The point is that the streaming services offered today by Hulu and Netflix provide an opportunity to give films a chance where we otherwise wouldn't. It used to be that Millennium Bug would eat up gas money back and forth to the rental shop, on top of late fees and the time you took to watch the film on a work night, and you end up despising a film more than it probably deserved. Now, you are simply gambling time (and conceding a minor monthly fee) for the chance to find a diamond in the rough. The odds haven't changed, but the ante is far less costly.

Though we haven't gotten the opportunity to watch them yet, Netflix recently patched their horror collection with some interesting titles. The Quiet Ones and Starry Eyes, to name a couple, were recently uploaded. Quiet Ones hasn't received much positive attention, but Starry Eyes has certainly caught the fancy of a few horror movie patrons. But with the ease and affordable nature of Netflix at hand, it is easy to devote a few hours to another's work.

The advancement of streaming has led to issues in the theater, especially for films where the audience is unsure what they are going to get. This is often the case with horror films, where a patron would rather wait it out and catch it on a cheaper and more accessible route. I am a lobbyist for putting your money where your mouth is. If you want to support your genres, get to the theater and watch them. But should the opportunity not arise, your paycheck was syphoned dry by your significant other or something of the like, we are provided an easy opportunity to put little forward at the potential of getting something huge back.

Take advantage of what streaming services have to offer, but also keep in mind that you are voluntarily gambling your time at the chance of watching something unexpectedly great. In the case of Quiet Ones and Starry Eyes, I hope Lady Luck kisses each cheek, but it's not worth your frustration should you roll snake eyes on such a small investment. Perhaps it will pay off next time.

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