I am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House Review No way am I typing up that title again...It will now be referred to as "Pretty Thing" or simply "the film", as I am lazily inclined to do on a regular basis. Pretty Thing follows a young woman who becomes the caregiver of an elderly author who happens to live in a haunted house. Through overlapping, vague narration, the film relies on atmosphere to drive its tale of a haunted house that not only fueled the author's books, but wishes to be fueled by the souls of the living. This film, like others in its class of crawling atmosphere, are an acquired taste for purists of the horror genre. While a film that relies heavily on ambiance to drive

Backyard Hooligans

Treehouse Review Treehouse follows a teenage boy and his older brother as they venture into the woods for a night of fun with other kids on the Halloween holiday. As they reach the designated rendezvous point, they become entangled in a seemingly supernatural force that was reportedly responsible for other missing people, and that is now stalking them. I simply have to come out and say it. This isn't a solid indie horror film. We've all seen better. However, I can find the silver lining in anything, and this film has an opening sequence and first act that were great building blocks for an interesting tale of mystery and suspense. Unfortunately, this potential is undercooked and left to rot i


The Monster Review While I was fortunate enough to catch this film on its DirecTV exclusive, I didn't want it to taint the trip to the Telluride Horror Show, so I let it sit while we enjoyed the amazing horror festival that is THS. Again, a big shout-out to all that are and were involved in that show...It's a one-of-a-kind experience. But back to The Monster... The film follows an alcoholic mother and her virtually estranged daughter as they travel on a vehicular venture late at night so the mother can essentially concede her daughter to her father. Midway through their voyage in the middle of the night on a back country road (go figure), the mother and daughter crash and become prey to a mo

Telluride Horror Show, Day 3 Shorts

Sunday Suspensefuls Shorts Block The shorts of day 3 were nothing short of enjoyable and thought-provoking. It was a well-rounded day, with pensive moments, effective scares, and smile-inducing humor. Let's dive right in: Blight - This seemingly generic exorcism short turns into something more. I don't want to ruin anything further, but this short thoroughly exceeded its budget and concluded on a fantastic twist. Curve - Perhaps my most anticipated short of the festival, Curve follows a woman who awakens stuck on a curved ledge that drops off into an abyss emitting ominous sounds. As she attempts an escape with every inching motion, the tension rises and holds until the short ends. And while

Telluride Horror Show, Day 3 Feature Films

Sickle and I saw some crazy good stuff today, if you have not checked out the review of the shorts then please do. One of the awesome things Telluride Horror Show does is have secret shows on Sunday, and these secret shows were evidence enough that sticking around for the whole day Sunday is a must. I am going to go over the two secret films we saw today: Raw Raw is a French horror film by Julia Docournau, following Justine (Garance Marillier) and her ‘initiation’into veterinary school in the foot steps of her mother and sister. Justine is a vegetarian established by her mother's eccentric behavior in a restaurant early on in the film. However, during a hazing ritual she is forced to eat mea

Telluride Horror Show, Day 2's Feature Films

Day 2 of THS most certainly didn't disappoint, with some great films and a few truly terrifying shorts. Let's get right to it, with my (Sickle's) reviews of Day 2. Kill Command Kill Command follows a group of marines and a mysterious cybernetic/human corporate agent as they perform a training session on a remote island, only for it to go awry as the training robots begin to fire with lethal intent. This film reminded me of a scifi short one would see in great supply on Vimeo. The film's style, both in plot and design, reminds me of a group of recent college graduates testing their film and design skills on a scifi concept. I don't want to say that this film's characteristics as a short by an

Telluride Horror Show, Day 2's Shorts

Today was full of awesome horror from cultist rituals to grind house greatness we saw it all. While my compatriot is going to cover the films themselves I am going to take a stab at covering the multitude of shorts we saw today! First of was the Horror Ha, Ha shorts block, which was filled with wonders. From PSA’s for hiking in a black bear reserve to robots with strange protocols. Here is the best of the horror comedy shorts. Handjob Cabin (Official Trailer) – This wonderful little trailer was for a movie that may or may not be real based on the success of this short. It follows a group of kids going to a cabin to escape for a weekend only to find themselves face to face with a horrible spi

Telluride Horror Show, Day 1 - Efrit

Here we are again folks in the wonderful mountain town of Telluride. Why have the dark forces summoned us to this wonderful place? To do our dark bidding of course and by that I mean talk about awesome horror films!! I started my journey this year by watching the “The Horror…The Animated” a series of shorts, some horrifying and some funny but all animated. Last year we had such wonders as Canis and Pandy and this year was no different. The best of the animated shorts this year were as follows: Accidents, Blunders and Calamities A wonderful bedtime story read from father to children about why humans are the worst. The story goes through the alphabet lime a miniature ABC’s of death with small

Telluride Horror Show, Day 1 - Sickle

We have just completed the first day of the Telluride Horror Show and it was a fantastic lineup of scary, provocative, and outright material. But let's not spend too much time hyping and get right to the reviews! (As many films play at the same time as others, Efrit and I have two separate reviews, so be sure to check his out!) Here Alone Here Alone follows a woman who tries to survive in a post-apocalyptic environment in which a zombie-like outbreak has devastated humanity. Her solitary lifestyle is eventually interrupted in a way that challenges her perspective on the situation. Zombie movies are not in short supply. There is nothing new under the sun...In many ways that applies to movies


Hardcore Henry Review What is there to say about Hardcore Henry? If I had to describe it in one sentence I'd say, "ridiculousness verging on masterpiece." Henry is just too much of everything all at once that you become desensitized before making it midway through the film. The video game aspects are too obvious to ignore, to the point that the film feels like a satire of modern gaming. Hardcore Henry follows a cybernetic man as he attempts to save his love (with the help of an eccentric, disjointed ally) from the clutches of a telekinetic psychopath. The film seems to combine elements from several video game genres, feeling like a mixture of first person shooters and fantasy/scifi RPGs on s

Jaws' Hot Cousin

The Shallows Review The Shallows follows Blake Lively as she attempts to survive a shark attack on a remote beach. The plot is plainly straightforward, and introduces little by means of originality, but still managed to impress me...somehow beyond the maximum amount of bikini-clad close-ups that a PG-13 can muster. The Shallows plot is dangerously close to the story of one of my favorite horror films (and one I consider severely underrated), Rogue. In fact, if you've seen Rogue, replace the crocodile with a shark and the tourists with beach bums and you've pretty much got The Shallows. Well, almost...throw in a little bit of Castaway ingenuity and Jaws thrills and now you have The Shallows.

Telluride Horror Show 2016 Preview: Second Wave

The second wave of films being presented at the Telluride Horror Show was released recently! Below are our quick takes on some of the films involved in the second wave. Beyond the Walls A french haunted house thriller, the film definitely appears to pull some artistic value (common in many french productions) into the framework of this unsettling environment. While the music in a trailer is never guaranteed in a film's final product, the score in the above trailer certainly adds to the dreadful mystique of the film. Kill Command This indie scifi film has that feel of a high quality indie short stretched into a full length feature. So many times I wish to see some of those fantastically made

Splintering Cell

Cell Review Adapted from a Stephen King novel of the same name, Cell follows an aspiring graphic novelist and estranged father/husband (John Cusack) who, with the help of a stranger (Samuel L Jackson), attempts to locate his family after a zombie outbreak is triggered by cellphones. Equal parts unoriginal and intriguing, Cell introduces interesting concepts to the zombie sub genre while also delivering on the regular tropes. The film is respectfully based on a novel that precedes most films that it shares connections with. The zombie trigger reminds me of Kingsman, while their behavior reminds me of 28 Days Later meets Pontypool. In these ways, the film doesn't feel very original despite the

You're in Here With Me!!!

Rorschach, a low-budget haunted house flick in the vein of Paranormal Activity is at least currently available on YouTube for free. We've gone through the trouble of filtering out Watchmen search results on YouTube so you can watch it here, or hop over to YouTube to watch it: Rorschach Review There's no denying it. Rorschach is virtually a Paranormal Activity clone. However, it is a clone I would deem more effective than its predecessor in many ways. Rorschach follows a mother and daughter who are joined by two paranormal investigators in their home as they attempt to determine the reasoning behind odd and eerie disturbances that seem to be worsening gradually over time. No, that plot doesn'

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